One Year Ago Today

One year ago today I was in the midst of a funk unlike any I had ever known. In January, my dad’s youngest brother passed away at 51 after having been diagnosed with cancer only weeks before. In April, my mom’s only brother passed away from a heart attack at 54. On top of that, we lost several people at work who I had known since my early days as a student assistant. 2010 and I had gotten off on completely the wrong foot. And then, it was May 9 – Mother’s Day.

I snuck an HPT into the bathroom with me while I got ready for our breakfast date with my Mom and Gram. When I jumped out of the shower to check the result, it was positive. Not just a little positive, but a definite second line indicating that we would be expecting our second child in approximately 36 weeks. I had no idea what to say. Honestly, I was terrified. I was afraid to be hopeful after the way that year had started off. But somewhere deep inside, I was hopeful.

Over the next 9 months, I spent a lot of time worrying about what life would bring come January 2011. I wondered how Joey would react to our new addtion. I didn’t know how I, the girl who was never going to have kids, would learn to juggle a second child. I thought a lot about those early, screamy days with Joey and how one was supposed to balance that with a toddler. I never doubted that we’d figure it out eventually, but I expected it to be the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do.

And then there was Luke who fills the hole in our family that we never knew was there. He’s the easy baby we never thought we’d have. He brings us joy and laughter every single day and we’re so, so thankful to have him in our lives.

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